Well, today like most other days was boring. It started raining and we had a relief for our walking group so we couldn't walk around the lake. Although it was pretty fun when we were in the room though. Played speed torture and I kept winning so I guess that's why it was fun. And I played speed with Phuong and that was pretty fun too I guess.

I'm starting to think about where me hanging onto Phuong will lead me in the future. If i hang on just a little longer, she might say yes and I probably will have a great life in high school together with Phuong. If I don't, I could be missing out on something that I have waited so long for. I feel that if I wait too long, I'll be wasting most of my life thinking about what could be. I could be having a great time with someone else but deep down, I know that I wont be able to let go of Phuong. I really want to go out with Phuong but she will never say yes to me. People have been saying that she will definitely say yes and that it's a guarantee that she will say yes. But they don't completely understand the position I'm in and all I want is for everything to be clear. I want Phuong to tell me if she does or doesn't want to go out with me. Until then, I'll always be confused and distracted. I have so much shit stored up in me and I'm afraid that it will all just come out at any moment and I might hurt someone that's really close to me. This blog is not really helping me gain control of how I feel and i can't express myself properly in the way that I want to.

I know that I have friends looking out for me and all but i can't express my feelings completely except when I'm talking to Kim - my best of best friends for life - I feel like i can tell her anything and she will understand.